24
by Queenbee19
Summary: 24 one shots from Luke Castellan. Starting with his 24th Birthday, and ending with his 1st.
1. 24

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_Disclaimer: I don't own Percy Jackson or Luke, because if I did Luke would've been the star of the series. But since the series is still called Percy Jackson and the Olympians and not Sexy Luke and the Olympains, sadly I still do not own the series. _

**24**

I never really understood birthdays. Maybe because they meant a different thing to me. Each birthday meant that I survived another year as a demigod. More like "congratulations you're alive" then "Happy Birthday now your older today's an excuse to get more stuff and everyone has to be nice you". And my last birthday I celebrated was the last one where I was just proud of myself for still living. Now I don't know what to do.

I'm 24 now. Most people my age would be off parting and drinking with their friends. Nope. Not me. Because I'm dead. But let me enlighten you, in case you were wondering. 24 does not feel exactly like 23. Because when I was 23 I felt alive, ready to take on the world and all of my dreams. At 24, I feel like I failed, and being here is my last ditch effort to make up for the failure.

I shouldn't be dead.

I had the world in my fingertips with all of the opportunities there yet I wanted more. I thought the grass was greener and convinced that I would make it to the other side.

But since that plan went wrong and I found out the other side really involved everything getting destroyed and everyone killed, I made my dying heroic move to save everyone by committing suicide. Not that I wanted to die, it was just I didn't really have many options left.

So now I'm left here, in Eysullm to celebrate my birthday. But honestly I didn't get how to celebrate living another year if I was no longer living.

I shouldn't be dead.

I want nothing more then to be able to say sorry for everything I did, but I seem to be the only one who thinks sorry isn't enough. Everyone calls me a hero for my death stunt but personality I didn't do anything heroic. I want everyone to know I'm really sorry, but there's no way to do that. I made that last wish to Percy, and maybe it will mean something.

And while we're on maybes, maybe I'll get my real birthday wish. To get out of this place. Don't get me wrong, Eysullm is great and I love everything here. But I miss my family. My real family.

I shouldn't be dead.

I shouldn't of let them down like I did. I shouldn't done so many things. I shouldn't have so many regrets but I do.

I shouldn't be dead. But I am.

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Hope you liked my chapter. If you did please leave me a review so I know I should continue. Special thanks to my sister for the idea. Thanks for reading!

xoxo Queenbee19


	2. 23

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Luke or the Percy Jackson series. Because if I did we all know how it would've ended. Luke would've been the hero and came back now, and Percy would've just kinda went with Annabeth and left everyone alone. Butttt since thats not what happened, I don't own them.** _

**23**

Gold. I see the world now through golden eyes, tinted in perspective to how I thought it was. Through the golden eyes I see people tremble in fear, listening to commands that come from my voice but not my head.

I have no control. I'm here, inside. Somewhere I'm trapped in here. It's funny, being trapped inside your own body with nowhere to go. Not that anyone knows your trapped, they think your dead. But I'm not dead. No, I'm just waiting to be rescued.

But that's the problem; no one's coming to save me from my mistake this time. No one's cleaning up my mess for me. I try to feel regret but inside this body that used to be mine emotions are hard to feel. When I do, they are usually flames of rage and greed. A lust for power only felt through the color of gold.

Being in here you forget things, like your birthday. I usually drift in and out, sometimes being woken up by word triggers. For powerful seconds I feel something, like I'm beginning to get my own body back. I feel alive again. Then it goes away. I retreat back to gold and darkness. The human mind is a scary place.

But yes, it is my birthday. I am now 23, and it makes me want to laugh. But I can't, no sound goes through. I want to scream at the top of my lungs, I want to shout and for a moment take a step away from everything and just feel a peace. But I can't. Nothing works, and I can't scream.

I wish myself a happy birthday, because I have made it this far. I was so close to making it work, but now I know it never will happen. The new age will never happen, not with me and not if I can help it. I want no part of Kronos' golden plans.

I wish I had something to celebrate. But when I try to think of something all I can think of is everything I have managed to mess up this past year. In 365 days I have changed so much, I can barely believe it. I can barely think inside this darkness. I can barely breath in here.

I have ideas, about how to get out. How to find a way out of this uncontrollable prison. But so far the only way that has come to me has been less then desirable.

Would you trade everything for nothing? To get out, and potentially fix everything the only way is to lose everything. The ultimate sacrifice. I heard hero's never have a happy ending anyways, accept Perseus.

That Percy Jackson, he'll have a happy ending. The gods will make sure of it. Because so far he has been the lead in cleaning up after my mess. It seems the gods have been too lazy to get off their asses and do it themselves. I want to talk to him again, tell him that I'm in here somewhere. Tell him what's going on; tell him our plans for war.

But I can't, so I won't. Acceptance.

But my choice before me, to accept defeat or accept sacrifice.

Heroes really don't get a happy ending.

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Thanks for reading, if you liked it leave a review. So far I've already got some super nice reviews and that makes me feel soo awesome, hence me writing another chapter today. So leave more reviews, and if you want to keep up with the story then follow it cuz I'll be updating every day until we get to 1. But who knows, maybe I'll go on beyond that. Anyways thanks for reading!

xoxo Queenbee19


	3. 22

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Luke or the Percy Jackson series. If I did just saying I would be the main character and Luke and I would be married and he would father my children. But...since I am still single and here children-less Rick Riordan gets ownership of the series. Plus, I'm too young for children. Ew children. **_

**22**

I'm running out of time. There's an invisible clock dangling over my head. I can't see it, but I can hear and feel lit. Feel its presence like the weight of the world on my shoulders and hear its tick taunting me.

I'm so lost. I know where I'm going, but it's where I'm coming from that makes the blur. And I can't help but wondering if what I'm doing is right…

The map says that I have one more turn left until I reach my destination. But I have to go into a long dark tunnel first. I'm scared. Because I tried everything I could to detour the tunnel, avoid the roadblock. But its darkness is inevitable and coming upon me all too soon. I don't want to go in, but now I have no choice. I'm already on track.

This tunnel has become too much for me, and I thought. I had just a thought. If she would go with me, I could run from my problems one more time instead of running towards them. Because I don't want to have another crash.

But she wouldn't run away, she wouldn't go back to how it was just a few years ago. And that's what makes where I'm coming from a blur, because I thought our relationship was better then that. Have I messed up too many times? Trying to reroute too late in the journey is sometimes impossible. It's too impossible to turn back now.

I'm homesick

But for one day, I'm taking a break from this trip. For today I'm not even thinking about the dream destination before me. For today I am just thinking about me.

I don't know about you, but I feel 22. Double digits of 2. I feel really lucky or really unlucky. I feel young, free, and ready to live life. I never knew you could feel a number, but you really can.

I'm ready to go home

I confess, I am. I even miss my mom. And if it's possible I miss my dad. But like I said, rerouting too late in the journey is just impossible. I can't stop; I'm already going too fast towards the end. All I can do is cross my fingers I make it to the end.

Accidents on the road happen everyday. And when they do, those kids never get to go home. They stay forever homesick. Will that be me?

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Ok just wanted to say the reviews I have gotten so far are SUPER NICE so I want to thank everyone who has reviewed, favorited or fallowed so far. If it helps all of you have made my day. Thank you for the support, it makes me excited to write another chapter for you guys. Anyways thank you so much for reading and I hope you enjoyed this chapter too!

xoxo Queenbee19


	4. 21

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Luke or the Percy Jackson series. If I Owned the Percy Jackson Series that would mean I would've took the time to write the entire series and well...ain't nobody got time for that!**_

**21**

21 and invincible. As if everything is beginning to fall right into my hands, as if I hadn't already bared the weight of the world on my shoulders. Only great heroes can accomplish such a feat. That's how I know I can only go up from here.

Everybody says that I should, or shouldn't be living my life the way I am yet I can easily turn away from the judging voices. That's what got me here in the first place, my crave for someone to be proud of me. For someone to care and admire me. Letting someone control my feelings, making me just their little puppet. That's all we mean to them anyways, we're just their puppets.

But I am not just a pawn. I refused to let the black and white rules of the game determine how it's played. I found myself a way to become the king. Kings have had a history of adversity, this rebellion is no different then others. All it takes is one person to make a game changing move.

Now that I'm 21, I know a lot of guys my age would go out to celebrate gambling. But I'm taking my own little gamble, only on a global scale. And I only get one shot to roll the die, I hope I'm feeling lucky...

But inside I'm not. Inside I'm scared. Inside I know I'm messing up. Inside I know I'm hurting people because they hurt me first. Inside I know I'm hurting people who haven't hurt me at all.

But I am not a puppet. I am not a pawn.

"On our 21st birthday we don't care what the world thinks of us, only to find they weren't thinking of us at all"

~Unknown

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Again let me first thank everyone who as review so far, I have read them all and they make me smile. Anyways I hope you liked this chapter, and if you have any suggestions leave a comment. I love inspiration. Also if theirs any critique I'd love to hear it! Thanks

xoxo Queenbee19


	5. 20

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Luke or the Percy Jackson series. Trust me if I did I would be that girl married to Luke, and the series would center around our marriage. Thank the gods I don't and you don't have to read that. **_

**20**

I cannot help but smile to the chorus of my birthday song. I feel like the sound has changed a little every year, the voices around me wishing me the best in my next adventures. Surrounding me are not the voices of those who love me but those who merrily respect me. But still, I should be grateful there are voices at all.

My life has changed so much in the past year. I feel like I finally just made the step and changed everything. I took control of my own fate, not letting anyone tell me right from wrong but letting me eat the fruit from the tree myself.

Maybe I shouldn't be playing with fire. I've heard the fire I'm playing with is quite the snake, yet maybe the snake is not all so bad. The snake comes to me in my dreams, and whispers to me not lies but the truth. The truth about love, the truth about life, the truth about my future.

I blow out the glowing flame, feeling for once no longer on edge. No longer feeling like I have to live up to something, because now I know I will live up to something. The extinguishing flame is my past, and I took it upon my self to blow it out. Now all that's left is a plastic steam, and a singed piece of twine still hot from the past.

They clap around me as I go to cut my own cake. I can barely look at all of them, because I know they are all not my friends. I know most of them are here supporting me with motives of their own, but I can't help pretending they really are here because they care. Because if even they don't care about me, who does?

I think now that I'm 20, I get 20 wishes. 20 candles, 20 flames to blow out. But I can't even think of 20 honest wishes, without them all contradicting each other. So I forget my wishes and wish for one thing. Not more wishes, but no wishes. Because I don't want the power to fall in my hands like that, that leaves room for regret. I want to regret nothing anymore.

The cake tastes soft in my mouth, and I eat it slow. Because I don't know when I'll have another peaceful moment like this to myself. A moment to be alone, and think, and just enjoy. A moment for the burden of my choices to not dangle over me. A moment to pretend that I'm just laying in the clouds, as if time itself stopped.

If I could make time stop, I don't think I'd ever start it again.

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Ok you know it's coming, I'm going to thank everyone who has read this far, reviewed, favorited, or fallowed. Like I said before it makes my day, and I feel like if I can touch just a few people with my writing, then it has done something. So if you liked the chapter let me know, because I will for sure update tomorrow! Thanks again!

xoxo Queenbee19


	6. 19

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Luke or the Percy Jackson series. First of all Luke is not to be owned, he's a person. And second of all The Percy Jackson series is too amazing for me to own. It just is. **_

**19**

And i dont want anyone to tell me its going to be ok. Its not. I want someone to tell me I'm going to be ok. Tell me I'm strong enough to get through this.

I need to know that I can do this, because this is the hardest thing I will ever do. I left the only place I could ever call home. I left the only people I could ever think of as family. I gave up the future set out for me.

I have redefined myself. I have done things already I may regret later, but right now the voice in my head tells me that its ok. The voice whispers to me like a poison you can't help but drink. His voice is nothing but toxic, but it keeps me coming every time.

I have no where left to run or hide anymore, Its all starting to happen so fast. I now have to ride the wave, without thinking first if it was a good idea to even get on. Because I'm on now, and death is the only way to get off.

By the way, I wish myself a happy 19th. Not because it is a happy day at all, because if it were happy I would be with Annabeth, and Thalia. I would be sitting with them, dreaming of our future together because thats what family does.

But I guess sometimes you have to leave the nest. I guess this time I left. Maybe too soon. But there's no looking back. The nest would never take me back.

And I'm scared. So scared. Afraid of the future that awaits me and the fate I will face. If everything does not work out what will happen? If blindly following the voice becomes a mistake, have I ruined any chance to restart my life? I hope not.

But hope is a funny thing. It's never there when you look for it, but always there when you need it. Hope knows when to come and go, and sometimes you have do dig for it. You can't just will it to appear you have to dig.

I hope, is just a funny saying. I hope is just a silly wish. Yet hope is what I'm leaning on now. I hope it won't let me down.

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Yet again, I must thank everyone who has left a review or decided to follow or favorite this story. It means so much to me, that I have been able to make even the smallest impact in your day, that you care enough to hit the button. Anyways thanks for reading, sorry it's so late I've been SO busy today you don't even want to know. Thanks! Leave a review if you liked it!

xoxo Queenbee19


	7. 18

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Luke or the Percy Jackson series. Think of all of the cliff hangers I wouldn't let happen if i did...**_

**18**

The clock of time has spun many a time, and when I woke up this morning it was a shock how fast it had spun. 18 years ago I was born, and now I am here.

I can feel something in the air telling me this year is going to be different. This year something is going to happen, and this year I'm going to have to grow up.

Its not like a had a father figure taking me by the hand and taking me though the trials of childhood. Nor did I have a mother figure to pick me up and dust me off when I fell. All I had was myself. And I feel like that's all I have now. But I wish He were here.

I wish He were with me, to help me grow up. I wish He were with me to take my by the hand. I wish He were there every fall, every tear, and every step I ran away from my mom. I wish I didn't have to forget about Hm every year, it gets so hard.

But from now on it will be different. From now on I'm giving myself a fighting chance at doing something. Doing anything. I'm 18 now and the world is a head at me. It's only a matter of time before I'm an adult demigod, taking the world by storm.

And I've been feeling something inside my head, something telling me these crazy things. Things I don't want to hear, yet I can't help myself from falling in love with his words. With his world.

A world where things make sense, and fate can't screw you over. I world where I can be free of the weight of everyone else's problems, and not have the burden of those who put there's on me. A world where people look up to me, respect me, and I feel like I belong.

This morning I can't help but looking in the mirror, and feeling like everything is going to change. Everything will be different. Things will start to fall into place. I will start to feel in place. I feel like when the hands of time spin yet again, I will look in the mirror and see a different person. As if I am a bird now parched ready for flight, but I will see a phoenix rising up from the ashes.

A year from now, everything will change. I can feel it.

"Every year on your birthday, you get a chance to start new" Sammy Hager

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Sooo...Maybe someone had finals to study for and forgot to post. Hmmm. Well anyways sorry for the delay I will post two chapters today. Anyways thanks for the reviews,I appricate them. Thanks for the favorites and follows, I feel so happy you don't even know.

xoxo Queenbee19


	8. 17

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Luke or the Percy Jackson series. Because like...i got nothing. **_

**17**

17 again. If I could relive the coming year would I want to?

Dad offered me a quest. I would be thrilled, but it's been done before. By Hercules. Of course.

At first, I was thrilled. I felt for once like he cared about me. Like he believed in me just the slightest bit. I felt like for one it was me he thought would do great things, not Him. I felt like to him, I was worth something.

But then I started to question. Why would he give me a quest already done by someone else? Someone obviously older, stronger, better then me. It's as if he's setting me up to fail.

And I start to wonder how much does he really care about me. How much does he really think I can do? Because sometimes it feels like to him, I'm not even here at all. But an invisible offspring to be shoved to the side, only brought up when he does something great.

So maybe this was his way into forcing me to do something great, as if I can't do it on my own. If I accomplish this for coming quest, then he can say that I have never let him down, because the only thing I've ever done I've succeeded. Maybe.

And maybe this is just a pity gift, because he never gives me anything anyways. Maybe this is to make up for 17 years of absence. He just decides today that he wants to make up for it, because it's just that easy. Maybe.

There's a drumline in my heart telling me theses "maybe"'s are true. Something inside telling me that he really doesn't love me, that I'm not good enough for him. That I am failing him, and I have to get better. Not for my sake, for his.

Something tells me I should just give up. Maybe.

But still, I'm 17. This is the last year of my childhood. The last time I can use my innocence as an excuse for my mess-ups, failures, stupidity. This is the last year I can just get a free pass to go, because playing with a kid makes different rules. Does he still view me as a kid? Maybe.

Maybe I'm just a kid. Maybe I really am just a kid. But somehow I know I'm not, I know I am more then that. I know that I can stand up for myself, and I don't need anyone there to help me maneuver. I know I am more then a kid. Maybe he doesn't. Maybe.

This will be one of those years I look back on one day. I just don't know if this will be one of those years I want to relive.

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I posted! So now I am caught up. Anyways if you liked the 2 chapters I posted tonight how bout you leave me a review huh? Huh? *battes eyelashes* please? Haha anyways thanks!

xoxo Queenbee19


	9. 16

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Luke or the Percy Jackson series. Because Luke is my husband, and husbands are not property. The imaginary house in the imaginary world we live in is property. **_

**16**

If it was you and me against the world, everything would be alright.

I can't help thinking what could've happened that day. I always think about what would've happened that day, if everything had went by plan. We were so close. And I can't help thinking about what should've happened, and wondering why it didn't.

Sweet Sweet Bittersweet 16. Don't get me wrong, excitement is pumping though my veins as I prepare for my 16th birthday party here at camp. But I know there's one person who I wanted to be there. And she's not going to be there, I know she isn't. And maybe I shouldn't dwell on the past, but I do.

Right now I've been dating this girl named Kennedy, and red haired stereotypical daughter of Aphrodite. I sometimes even ask myself why I'm dating her, when I know it wasn't the same as what Thaila and I had. Honestly, we had nothing. But sometimes nothing can feel like everything.

But relationships can teach you lessons, so I've heard, and I think this one is teaching me that I need to get my head together. I don't know what I want, because I keep thinking about what I could've had. And maybe if I could let go of the past it would help the future, but the "could've had" will never leave my thoughts, and I think I will spend forever wondering.

But wondering is ok right? Because I wonder if now that I'm 16 things will get better for me. Now that I'm sixteen, maybe Dad will call me again. Because maybe he was just waiting for me to get older, so that I would understand things again.

And I wonder if my mom is ok, and if leaving her was really the wrong thing to do. Not that I want to ever go back, I just wonder if I should be regretting my choice.

But I will stop wondering at least for the rest of the night, because I don't want anything like that to be in my memories when I remember my bittersweet 16.

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Ok, I have a confession to make. _Someone _fell asleep last night after she went to a party, and totally did not get to update because she was flat asleep. And so...I apologize again because I did say that I would update every night, and I mean it. And thanks to those who still read my story every night, it means a ton to me. But I will post two chapters tonight and then stay on track.

_xoxo Queenbee19_


	10. 15

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Luke or the Percy Jackson series. Because I have told you for the past 9 chapters that I dont and nothing has changed, trust me. **_

**15**

Weeks ago I watched a part of my family die. I never experienced death like this before; I never understood its effect on people until now.

I heard there were ways to grief. I don't know if I will, or maybe I am and I don't know it. But sometimes I just fell numb, and I just can't believe she's not here anymore. Thalia was my sister, yet somehow I let her die.

And sometimes I walk out of my cabin, thinking about heading to the Zeus cabin to ask if she wants so spar, so I can have some real competition. It's like I've forgotten she's no longer here.

I think somewhere in me has tried to erase her existence from my mind. But it's hard to just erase something so close to you. It's like trying to hit delete on half of your body, it's impossible.

Sometimes I don't know if there is a way I am supposed to feel about losing Thalia. Annabeth seems to still take it hard, it's like she got harder after the death. As if she has become motivated to now solve every problem the world has ever created, because a problem unsolved is like a death unavenged.

We celebrate my 15th birthday this year, trying to feel nothing. Because my last birthday was not spent with the comfort of the camp around me. But nevertheless, my last birthday was spent with the comfort of my family around me, and I think I would make the trade.

The forced "happy birthday's" from campers I don't really know don't make it any better. I don't think any of them mean it, but feel compelled to say it because it's the right thing to do. Plus, for a demigod birthdays are like checkpoints. And not everyone makes it to the checkpoints in time. Thalia didn't.

And I feel like the little boy I was, 10 years ago, celebrating my 5th birthday. Back when all of my friends we're different from me, because they had normal parents. And I had the weird mom who scared them away.

I still feel like part of me is tied to that little boy. Part of me still wants the innocence and bliss the young world has to offer. Before things get complicated, and times get hard.

Because things are complicated now, and something's are hard. And I know I am strong enough to get though it , they same way I survived for 15 years already. I just do know If I am up for more heartbreak. A heart can only ache and break so many times, before there is nothing left but ashes.

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There, I have updated. Now I am caught up yet again. I want to promise that it will never happen agian, but promises can be dangerous. Speaking of, if you like this story I have other Luke stories, so check out the Promises series I have writen. Anyways thanks for the support and feeback, thanks!

xoxo Queenbee19


	11. 14

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Luke or the Percy Jackson series. Because I wouldnt be waisting my life writing fanfictions, i would be writing the story. Duh. **_

**14**

Things have changed in my life. Suddenly I have a friend, who is like me. Suddenly, I have someone who knows how I feel. Knows what its like to have a powerful dad, who's too high to look down to someone like us on the ground.

Her name is Thalia, and her bright blue eyes spark something in my mind that I can't quite put my hand on. I found her in Los Angeles, in a dragons cave. I would've left her, but something urged me to talk to her. We have been inseparable since.

I haven't had a real friend in so long, it's nice to have one now. It's nice to have someone to spend my 14th birthday with, because loneliness was beginning to take over.

You don't know what its like, to be all alone all the time. To be fending for your survival all alone. To have not a single person have your back. Not have anyone to talk to, anyone to strategize with. Anyone to cry with, not that I cry.

But you get my point; you don't know what it is really like. It's a scary place in your mind, when you feel all alone and you crave the comfort of having someone there. You get desperate, and eventually anyone will do. You just need someone to understand you.

And suddenly, I have someone. Today the fates we're on my side, because until then they haven't been. But now they are, and now I have someone. I am no longer alone.

Its cold outside, and with every chill I remember my mom and wish she we're here to wish me a happy birthday. And I wish I had money, for a better coat then the one I'm wearing. Thalia has little money either, she bought me a cupcake with the few quarters she had.

We don't have a fire to blow out the candles. But I pretend its there. I pretend a lot of things lately. Like I pretend that I'm home. I pretend that I'm safe. I pretend that I'm not running for my life.

Because make believe is always better then reality.

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Hey thanks for all of the reviews, favorites, and follows so far! Thanks for the support, and everyone who has been consistently reading. If you have any suggestions, questions, critiques I'd love to hear them! Thanks

xoxo Queenbee19


	12. 13

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Luke or the Percy Jackson series. Because Im too sexy for my shirt. Wow...I've lost creativity now**_

**14**

Survive. Survive. I tell myself if I can make it through the day, tomorrow will be better. I know I am telling myself empty promises with unfilled rewards, but yet every day I tell myself the same lies.

But yet I am still alive, so I guess it's working. We could be technical, and argue I'm _barely_ here. But still even in its minority, I am still alive.

The world is so big and cold, far too big for a 13 year old to roam it alone. Far to large for me to explore by myself, with nowhere to go and nowhere to run. It's a miracle I lasted this long, in this big cold world. It will be a miracle if I last any longer.

But us sons of Hermes, as much as I resent him, are resourceful. And we can do things, more then other kids can. That's why I can explore this giant world, with so many people and so many sights and things too see. Every turn of the head there's something new to look at, someone else to meet, some adversary to fight.

Yeah, it gets hard. But I wouldn't rather be anywhere else, but out here. Out here alone. Don't get me wrong; being alone can be heavy on the heart. But being alone can be soothing for the soul.

No one to tell me I'm right or wrong. No one to dictate how my life is lived. No one for me to depend on. No one to let me down.

And so being out here and alone is good. Even on my birthday, where I silently sit on a stone gray wall reflecting to my self how much I've changed in 13 years. I'm a teenager now, things have changed. I can say I have more responsibility now, though there's no one technically to give it to me.

And somehow I can still list of 13 reasons why I can be out here and smile. Because I know there would be few people who could be where I am and still take it with their head held high. But I can.

Because I know I'm meant for something. I have a purpose. I know there is something bigger then me, that means something. And somehow I'll be that something to make something happen. Broad, I know. But I know I'm meant to live for something.

So I keep telling myself lies, that tomorrow will be better even know I know it won't. And I pretend its not really my birthday, and image a better one. A celebration maybe for next year, maybe the year after. Because after I'm something great, I'll be celebrated much longer.

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Hey all. Thanks for everyone who has actually read this far, without you readers there would be no story. And THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU to every favorite follow review, because trust me they make my crappy days. Anyways thanks!

(And again if you have suggestions, i always take them :) )

xoxo Queenbee19


	13. 12

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Luke or the Percy Jackson series. Woah look over there...squirell**_

**12**

We are the runways. You don't always see us; sometimes we're in the shadows. We can be sneaky, we can be dark. We can be many things, and we will be many things so we live to see another day.

There are so many of us, but you don't always know who is one of us. For all you know, the girl with the red ribbon and the dingy converse that you saw at the park has been one of us since she was 6. Maybe you didn't notice the boy who looked like he was 16, was really 14 but aged two years in stress and on edge.

I am now one of them. I've been apart of the runaways for a while now, but I just now have joined. Because you don't become a runaway until your homesick. And being in Connecticut sends a reeling cringe through my stomach, making me wish I could just puke and make it end. But I can't, and I know I miss the warmth.

Warmth of my mad mothers arms on a cold winter night. Warmth of my bed after a long day of school. Warmth of my treehouse during a day of hide and seek with my mom, accept the fact she didn't know we were playing.

Most of all I miss the safety. Knowing what will happen tomorrow, not just trying to make each day. Even days like this, my birthday, I wonder how the heck I got here and how the heck am I ever going to get home.

I have nowhere to go. No plan. No agenda.

Yet I'm happy. We runaways tend to be. Cold sometimes, strategic and smart most days But in the long run we tend to stand my our decision to leave the nest and never return. To be the missing child our parents dont bother to look for because they barley noticed we were gone.

We're ok with being apart of an unspokej club of kids like us who understand us. Who have made the choice to leave the "good life" and take the road way less traveled in hopes of finding something lost.

We have runaway from out fears, but yet we have conquered them.

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Well another night another chapter. Glad you read and liked it, if you did as always please review or favorite. If you want to keep up with the nightly updates hit that follow button! Thanks to tge support sifar!

xoxo Queenbee19


	14. 11

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Luke or the Percy Jackson series. **_

**11**

One two three. Close your eyes. With closed eyes you can imagine anything.

I can imagine anything.

Eleven years old got my hands in my pockets as I walk down the streets I used to call home. I wonder if I ever will again, but I know I probably won't.

Its a silly thing, being a year older. Because with the age I feel more powerful. I feel like I'm no longer a kid, I'm mature now. I know what I'm doing. I don't need my mom to tell me what is up from down, I can look myself.

I climb over the rocks as I walk in the park and I sit in the grass alone. I peer from under a near bush watching boys and dads play catch in the park wishing mine was here.

Wondering what I did wrong to make him not talk to me. I could've been I should've been a better son.

Imagining my dad and I celebrating my birthday taking me out for baseball and ice cream like most dads and sons did. I imagine him giving me a cool birthday gift and me hugging him. My blue eyes filled with laughter.

But I open my eyes to me alone in the park watching dads and sons fill my images, and wishing it were me.

But I could've been, I should've been a better son.

Its more then likely its my fault, and all of the things I've done. All of the dollar bills I've stolen, grinning widely in my fun. Leaving mom all alone with help from no one.

I really really should've been a better son.

As the sun starts setting and street lights come on. Dads lift their kids over their shoulders, as if to the beat of a song. And Im left sitting here behind a bush reflecting on my wrongs.

If I had only been a better son.

Now i know its my fault, trying here to stay alive. Out in the cold and rain and wind, surviving elements I despise. Wishing dad would scoop my up and take me home answer my crises. But this is what I get for leaving on my family ties.

And as my one one birthday ends, I know tomorrow the sun will rise. Ill still be here. Dad still wont. Mom will still be crazy cuz shes left all alone.

Ill still be the son who should have stayed close to the nest instead of flown.

I shouldve been, i couldve been a better son.

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Rawr. My internet crashed. So heres my chapter this morning, sorry.

xoxo Queenbee19


	15. 10

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Luke or the Percy Jackson series. **_

**10**

I have now crossed over to the land of double digits. Where I am now too old to eat of the kids menu, but too young to get any respect for adults.

So far it's been a weird birthday, since it was supposed to be a special one. I was supposed to have all of my friends over, and have a party. And there was going to be balloons and streamers and a big cake for me. And I was supposed to blow out 10 blue candles and make ten wishes.

Instead I play in the sand thinking of the party I could've had but instead chose not to. Wondering what made me chose this and wondering if I chose wrong.

But seeing her face distorted and unstable made me run like I was fleeing from toxic waste.

I know I made the right choice.

Sometimes adults crouch down and ask if I'm lost but their voices touch my ears like white noise, as if it weren't there. The last thing i need is more adults to talk down to me; I'm 10 now. I take care of myself.

But still I dream about my bed, and the place once called home. Everything I had that now I lost. I feel like part of me is lost. But running away is irreversible now, no going back.

And permeant things scare me because there is no going back. No way to fix mistakes. So I just hope this isn't a mistake.

Sand gets in my sneakers and I take them off and let my toes sit in the sand. Most kids right now would be doing their favorite things, telling everyone it's their birthday and getting more gifts then they need.

But I am not, I am just here. Just Luke. I am not most kids. I will not have a party with 10 blue candles and get many gifts and have losts of friends. I will just sit here in the sand, filling my toes with the grainy beads.

I will just sit here and enjoy my birthday alone.

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Okay. So my internent is still messed up, so for the next few days don't be suprised if I post at weird times. I'm sorry. Anyways THANK YOU for the reviews and favorites and follows and EVERYONE WHO HAS BEEN SUPPORTING ME through this crazy story. Can you belive 9 more days and then its over? Who wants a sequel? Anyone? Thanks for the supprot!

AND IF YOU HAVNT READ MY OTHER LUKE STORIES, CHECK THEM OUT. Promises is about Luke and is my OC Tess, who becomes his girlfriend. If you like this story I think you'll enjoy Promises, and it's sequels Locked and Memories. Check them out please!

xoxo Queenbee19


	16. 9

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Luke or the Percy Jackson series. Woo woo.**_

**9**

She scares me so much. I know she is my mother and I should love her and I do. And I shouldn't be afraid of the hand that feeds me. But I am so scared of her.

There's obviously something wrong, because every time she looks at me she sends chills down my spine. And every time I feel guilty for looking at her in shame because I know it's not her fault.

But I can't help being so afraid of the glowing eyes and the changing voices. When I go to my friends' houses their moms don't act like that. And all the moms I see on TV aren't like that either. So why is mine?

And now it's my birthday and I'm hiding in the cold, bundled in a jacket sitting in my tree house. I watch the moon as the sun already set and mom doesn't know where I am or where I've been.

She calls my name. Luke! Luke! But I never call back in response because this time I don't want her to find me. She can't find me, and she won't.

Because tonight I set myself to do what I've been too afraid to do before. Tonight I take my coat and backpack, and leave my treehouse without looking back because a second glance is a second chance and my mom has run out of chances.

I feel bad, because I know inside she can't control it. But the lack of control is what scares me most. Think of the things that she can and will do. Thinking of the things she's already done. She's scared off so many of my friends I can't afford to lose more.

So when I don't look back, and I won't look back, I'll try to forget everything I'm leaving and think about where I'm going. Accept I have no idea where I'm going.

Happy Birthday Luke.

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Ok so I've been sick, awesome right? No. First thanks for the support. And second, so I'm considering a sequel. One idea is with different charries. Tris from Divergent? Or Thaila? Any suggestions?

Anyways I promise I will catch up soon, I've just been really sick. Thanks again for the support!

xoxo Queenbee19


	17. 8

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Luke or the Percy Jackson series. THIS IS THE DANCE FOR ALL THE LOVERS, BREAKING THE CITIES HEARTS TOGETHER. Ok I love that song. Disclaimer again, I do not own that song by the Plain White T's. Nor do I own the sexy blonde and the whinny seaweed brain.**_

**8**

Is there something I'm missing? Because nothing makes sense when she grabs my hand and shakes me violently and her eyes turn colors they shouldn't. And she says weird things that I don't understand so I run outside because she won't find me.

And I was supposed to have friends over for my birthday but I'm not because I'm too afraid of what she'd do this year after what she did last year. It's too scary for me now. So I just told them I would hang out with them later, and have a party somewhere not at my house. Someone where my mom can't scare my friends away.

And the worst thing is, she talks about Him. As if talking about him and memoires would make it better, she always loved Him more then she cared about me. And ever since she's been stuck with me she's softened, and really given me a look as if I were now worth something.

And mom tried to make me a cake, accept it didn't exactly come out. It came out all burnt and weird and chocolate frosting was dripping everywhere around the kitchen making stains that will never be cleaned. And her eyes turned emerald and she started talking again so back to my room I went, where I closed the door and covered my ears from her scary words.

I pick up a picture book and about a boy who slays dragons. I try to read it, but the words blur despite my attempts to dry tears. And in frustration I throw it across the room, because I feel stupid again. I can't even read a stupid picture book.

This has been the worst birthday ever.

And I keep waiting for dad to come and visit but he never does. I don't know why I got my hope up. I just thought maybe this time he would come, maybe he was missing me? I would miss me if I we're him. But I'm not him, and he didn't come.

So I scream, and let all of my feelings pour out because chances are no one can hear me. Not that anyone would listen if they could. And it feels really , really good to scream.

Like all of the evil pours out of my head and flies away somewhere else and never comes back. And then I'm left to take a deep breath and try to smile. And I open the door to my bedroom, and head to find my mom.

We have a birthday cake to make.

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I feel like it's been a while since I've updated? Anyone else missing 24?

Well if you have, thanks for reading the chap. And tell your friends, I bet they would like to read it too! As always, thanks for R&Ring, and thanks for the awesome feedback. Andddd sequel ideas?

xoxo Queenbee19


	18. 7

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Luke or the Percy Jackson series. Ew Kids Bop just cane on the radio I wanna puke. Luke would get rid of those whinny high voices for me.**_

**7**

I woke up, pulling the covers off my my bright green comforter and quickly leaving my room, not bothering to fix my messy bed or make it for that matter.

I ran into the kitchen, and sat at the table waiting for my birthday breakfast. Every year: chocolate chip pancakes with whipped cream and chocolate sprinkles. It wasn't about sprinkles or the whipped cream, it was about the fact it made me feel special.

But mommy never came, and I kept waiting. I kept swigging my feet in my chair and calling for her to wake up. When finally I stormed into her room to find her green eyed and insane.

I backed out, but not before she could grab my shirt and shake me around. She swung me over and over, chanting something I didn't get and saying I would fill the prophecy, not Him.

I ran away after that, drying my tears that this year I wouldn't feel special. I would still be second to Him.

So I went back inside, and crawled around looking for presents. Opening them I played, letting my worries disappear.

And I tried to make myself feel special, making my own pancakes. I tried crashing up the cholcate chips like mommy does it and put them in the batter I tried to create. I was determined to turn on the oven.

I tried to put it in, managing to burn myself many times. And I learned band-adis dont fix everything.

Apparently pancakes don't go in the oven, mommy got all mad st me. But I don't care. I had fun. And its my birthday, she has to be nice to me.

Sometimes I'm sorts glad I'm not a twin, because I would have to share today. And for one day, I get to feel important, cool. Normal.

I can pretend im a normal boy with a normal family.

Birthday's are weird, because you think that you've been alive this long. And if I can survive 7 whole years I can surley take 7 more. It makes me feel in some ways invincible. Like a superhero. Some say you can't always be the hero.

I say why not?

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so far i got sone sequel ideas, so thankd! Anyways thanks so much for reading you know it means the universe to me. Anyways thanks for the support! 6 more chapters!

xoxo Queenbee19


	19. 6

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Luke or the Percy Jackson series. I wish I wish I really wish I did. But I seriously don't. Stupid Uncle Rick. **_

**6**

I sat around my table, playing with the green table cloth as my mom brought out the chocolate cake. I looked around the table at the small faces of children I called my friends. All of them looked back at me anxiously, wanting me to hurry and up and make my wish so they could eat. I agreed with them, squirming around in my birthday chair and playing with the overhead balloons, waiting for my mom to hurry and bring me the cake.

The chours of Happy Birthday was music to my ears as I closed my eyes and wished for things I shouldn't of. I wished He was there, and I wished that I would have a fun birthday because so far all we've done was play party games. I also wished for the super cool bike I saw on TV, but that was an extra wish.

Then I slowly blew out the candles and my friends cheered and my stomach grumbled because i was hungry. And I turned to my mom to ask for the knife to cut the cake when my eyes widened. Facing me we're emerald eyes and a face I barley reconsided. A voice much deeper then my moms spoke and all of us we're scared.

I was scared, because I had saw her do this before. I always thought maybe she was joking. But not _today_! Not at_ my birthday party_.

"Mom?"

"MOM!"

I didn't know how to react, nor did my little friends who we're as scared as I was. So we all ran to my tree house outside, and played around for a while avoiding my mom at all costs.

But after my party, I knew it would be different. I think all of my friends are going to be scared of me, why would't they? Just look at my freakish mom scaring them with weird colors and noises. It's the perfect way to lose all of my friends. Not that I had millions to begin with. Everyime I would have a playmate my mom would scare them away, and suddenly I would be friendless. Until I met someone else who hadn't met my mom yet. Then the cycle would go again like a circle, or like a cookie, round and never ending. Accept cookies end when you eat them...

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Hey hey! I guess I've got to every other day? i don't know, I just don't want it to be over so soon. So if you liked this chapter, review favorite follow, and tell your friends because like I bet they would love to read about Lukey Luke. I know I love to read about him! Anyways we are nearing the end! Thanks for the support!

xoxo Queenbee19


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